Dude, I'm Stealing Your Mask!
by Elevanya
Summary: Complete randomness. Three girls end up in V's world. Oneshot. Cowritten with Sugarhighpixie


"Dude, I'm Stealing Your Mask!"

"Remember Remember the fifth of November,

The Gunpowder Treasonous Plot,

I know of no reason why the gunpowder treason,

Should ever be forgot."

"Light take me! Did I get hammered or something at Homecoming? I don't remember falling asleep under a _table,_ wait...not even _my _table!" I screamed as I woke, bashing my head against the underside of a kitchen table.

In the distance I heard a very familiar squealing, "Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

"Fay you sound like a fruit bat," I heard from another room yet another voice I recognized...dun dun dun... "Hey Beth, is this your room? It's filled with books."

"_What is going on_?" This voice I did not recognize. Crap, I was in trouble.

Timidly I stuck my head out from under the table. "Dude!" I yelled, "I'm stealing your mask!" I scrambled out from my hiding place excitedly.

At that point, my twin, yet incalculably more immature than me, sister, Fay, ran out. "I know you!" She yelled.

"You do?" Was the black cloaked, masked man's comment.

"Yeah, you're N!" She said before looking down and then up again, "Wait...I...meant...V." Near the end her voice trailed off and she made her sad puppy face.

V would have raised and eyebrow in surprise, but as of yet I had not stolen his mask, so we couldn't see if he had.

"Sorry, she's dyslexic," my other friend, Katie before adding in a fake whisper, "and a bit stupid."

"Hey, I heard that!"

"Excuse me," V said in his usual curt voice. "But, where did you come from?"

It was Katie who answered this. "A magical pixie land made of butter."

"Like on that toast you were about to eat for breakfast," I added before motioning to Fay, who, seeing my gesture, stuffed the last of the toast into her mouth making her cheeks bulge out like a squirrel's. She swallowed hastily.

"Was that poisoned?" Fay asked V in a small voice.

"No."

"I love you!" Fay cried before rushing to hug him.

"Group Hug!" Katie squealed jumping to hug V as well. Quickly, I joined, laughing as V stiffened.

Suddenly, Katie rushed off and from the other room we heard music.

_"I like to move it, move it,_

_I like to move it, move it,"_

Fay and I ran after, pulling V along. Once we reached Katie we released our captive and started dancing. V stared at us wordlessly.

"That song wasn't on my jukebox."

"Well it is now," all three of us snarled, glaring at him in challenge for a few seconds before continuing our dancing. "Come V, dance with us!"

"I don't know what style of dancing you are doing."

"It's easy!" Fay explained, "1- you move your hips to the side, 2- move them to the other side, 3- repeat steps 1 and 2 till the music ends."

The chorus of the song began again and all three of us began to sing, a very scary sight.

"I like to move it, move it, I like to move it move it, She likes to move it move it, he likes to move it move it they like to...MOVE IT!"

Fay changed the song to Linkin Park, more specifically Numb. That wasn't supposed to be on the jukebox either, but this time, V didn't comment.

"Can we go shopping?"

"Why would you need to go shopping?"

"To get clothes. If we're going to stay here, we need a change of clothes, preferably several."

"What makes you think you will be welcome to stay?"  
"Well, you're going to be lonely here until Evey comes back." Fay explained.

"Besides," I added in a dangerous whisper, "_we know where you live."_

"You know about Evey?"

"Well," Fay continued, "You and Evey are kind of the point of the whole entire mov-"

At that point I slapped my hand over her mouth. "Shut up, Fay," I growled through gritted teeth in a not so quiet whisper, "Or Maiden have mercy, I'll... Owww!" I ended in a howl as Fay bit into my palm.

"-movement." Fay finished with a to innocent look on her face.

"That wasn't what you were going to say."

"No," I said truthfully, "But we're not going to tell you anyway so why does it matter?"

V sighed, "Where did the other one go?"

"You mean Katie? Ummm," I looked around to find her gone. "She went Poof?"

At that moment both Fay and I noticed movement on the couch behind V. It was Katie, crouched and ready to spring.

"Oh, shit," Fay whispered looking carefully away.

"PIGGY BACK RIDE!" Katie shouted jumping onto V's back. He staggered at her weight but soon regained his feet. He stood there still as Katie ineffectually kicked his legs trying to make him walk.

"Why won't you go!" She complained loudly.

"Because I simply choose not to walk." He said as lifted her up and put her back gently on the ground. Just as Max would do. That reminded me.

"Your to tall." I whined

"I cannot help that."

"Well," I continued, "you should shrink anyway!" I then snatched a random book from the table and hit him on the head, quite a reach for me as I'm only 5 foot.

Silence descended, but not an uncomfortable one. Katie began to do a little dance in place, Fay stared at V who was staring resolutely in another direction, and I occupied myself by contemplating the number of dust motes that I had stirred up when I picked up the book.

"What are you considering?" V asked suspiciously when he noticed my absorbed look.

"Oh," I answered nonchalantly, "The answer to life the universe and everything."

"Have you come up with anything?"

"42." Fay answered for me. Katie squealed in excitement. "I knew it!" She proclaimed.

"Soooooo, can we go shopping?" Fay asked looking hopefully at V's smiling yet somehow expressionless mask.

"I suppose so." V reached into his coat and handed each of us a wad of money. I then began my own victory dance as did Fay and Katie.

What ensued was a very long and involved shopping trip that included much skipping and shouting. In general we had fun trying on every outfit imaginable and had no problem spending every cent V gave us. It was very entertaining, though people did look at us funny.

"So how was it?" V asked when we returned. I was amazed we hadn't gotten lost, but I could get lost in my own house, so, well I'm not sure.

"Great!" Fay yelled, pulling V towards the couch and pushing him down.

"It is now customary that we do a fashion show to show the spoils of our hunt." I explained in a imperious tone before bursting into a fit of giggles( which ended up lasting for the next hour or so) and running after Fay and Katie to get ready.

Fay walked out first. Her favorite outfit had a red ruffled skirt that ended just above her knees, a brown leather corset top and brown leather boots that went up to mid-calf. As she skipped out of the room, I entered in a pair of black leather pants that laced up on the sides, a chain-mail belt, and a black corset top similar to Fay's. My shoes were my most favorite bright orange chucks. Katie was last. She came out in sweatpants and a t-shirt. Over top all she wore a black cloak.

"When did you get the cloak?" I asked as she passed me.

"Just now, I stole it from V."

"Nice, Katie."

With the fashion show over, V went to go get dinner ready.

Something shiny caught my eye and of course I walked over. "Ohhhh, shiny!" I chirped as I ran my hand over the blade of a fencing sword. "Pretty, yesssss, my precious."

"Oh Oh Oh sword!" Fay exclaimed, running over to me. " Hey, Bethy, wanna fight?"

"Sure." I answered snatching a sword off it's stand and faced Fay in a casual yet prepared stance.

Fay grabbed a sword of her own, and the fight began.

We did the usual routine that we had practiced over and over again since...ummm...I forget how long ago. V, hearing the clash of metal rushed in.

"put those swords down, they're not for children." V admonished us. Both Fay and I froze, something that was kind of hard for me because I was in the middle of a jump...heh heh heh.

"But moooooommmmy!" Fay squealed, "I won't kill her, at least...um not by accident."

"Fay!"

"ha ha, Fay's in Trou-ble!" sang Katie, dashing off as soon as V looked her way.

"We can fight fine!" I protested and, ignoring V, resumed my fight with Fay.

V was then forced to draw his own sword and join in the game if he had any hope of stopping us.

"AAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Katie screamed her battle cry, charging nobly into the fray armed with none other than a very fearsome weapon. A fluffy pillow dun dun dun...

Feathers flew everywhere, but Katie would not relent.

"Maiden help me, Katie, stop! Ahhhh, why couldn't you fight fair. A sword is no match for a pillow, you know that." I pleaded. The pillow was in shreds by the time Katie let her arm fall. Before anyone could block her way, she had run off to get another pillow.

"ENOUGH!" V shouted, and once again everyone but Fay froze.

"Aha, I win!" Fay screeched, poking V in the side with the tip of her sword. V merely stared down at her. Silently, Fay waved smiling while letting her sword drop.

"Enough of this before someone gets hurt." V then proceeded to confiscate all of our weapons( yes, including Katie's pillow) and locked them away.

"Awwww, V, did you have to do that?"

"Yes." Was his curt answer.

"I'm bored now," I complained, "What happened to that room filled with books, Katie?"

"Oh, it's this way." Katie showed me. My eyes widened as I looked at the glorious books stacked from floor to ceiling.

"Don't expect to see me for a week," I told her before grabbing the first book and plopping down on the bed to read.

"What was she saying about 'maiden have mercy, and light take me' and such? Strange things to say." I heard V ask someone.

"Oh, that, ummm, she's a novelist, and you know how novelists are, kinda crazy...yeah, it's from one of her books." Katie answered.

A few days later, or maybe I should say books, I'm not sure exactly of the time...yeah I know it's sad, but true, I heard V speaking.

"I have to go."

"We know," Fay said.

"How do you know."

"Well," Katie drawled, "in magical pixie land of butter there are maple syrup ponds that show you the future when you look in them."

I snorted in laughter. How just like Katie to say that.

"Farewell then," V said.

"V," she paused "If we shadows have offended, Think but this, and all is mended, That you have but slumber'd here, While these visions did appear; And this weak and idle theme, No more yielding but a dream, Gentles, do not reprehend: If you pardon, we will mend. And, as I'm an honest Puck, If we have unearned luck Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue, We will make amends ere long, Else the Puck a liar call: So, good night unto you all. Give me your hands, if we be friends, And Robin shall restore amends."

There was nothing but silence from V, and I was once again pulled into the world of the written word. When I surfaced again I was on the last book with only one page remaining.

"Ahah! Finished! Oh what now!" I shouted in victory, putting the book down. I ran out the room, hoping to find Katie and Fay, but stopped when no one came to see if I was actually alive. Hmmmm, I didn't think it had been more that a week. Still, I could have been wrong.

"Who are you?" Someone asked from behind me. Warily I turned, but relaxed when I saw her. It was Evey.

"My name is Amigo Montoez," I bowed, quoting one of my favorite movies, " You killed my father, prepare to die." I then settled into a mock sword fighting stance. Evey looked at me strangely, apparently she had not seen The Princess Bride. Maybe I should try a different movie.

"Your worst nightmare.?" I tried but got no reaction to Mushu's line from Mulan.

Sighing, I quickly thought of something that she could not miss. If she did, she was just stupid.

"My name's Bond, James Bond."

She stared at me. "Are you like a crazy person."

Oh, I couldn't have set it up better if I had given her the script. "I am quite sure they will say so," I said, quoting V from when he first met Evey.

Evey's eyes narrowed in suspicion and I smiled.

"I'm Beth. Relax, Evey, I'm V's friend."

"V is dead."

"Oh, I know. Where is everyone?"

"Huh?"

It was then that we both heard a crash from the kitchen. We both ran in there, Evey wondering how so many people could have found a supposedly hidden house.

We entered the kitchen and I heard squealing from under the table. I immediately relaxed.

"Katie you sound like a fruit bat." I laughed "Oh, and how is the magical pixie land of butter doing?"

"Great!" Was Katie's answer as she clambered out from under the table.

"Luke, I am your father." She said in greeting to Evey, who just shook her head in dismay.

The refrigerator door opened and Fay jumped out. "I'm back! And I'm fresher than ever!"

I laughed as Evey groaned and I began to dance, more specifically Irish Dance, to music that no one else could hear.


End file.
